Into the Depths
by Kayla Chavi
Summary: A short piece centered around relationships, love's definition, and simply being in love. Controversial themes.


Into the Depths  
by Kayla Chavi  
Rating: PG-13  
Genre: Alternate/Romance  
Email: kaylachavi@hotmail.com  
website: http://www.envy.nu/kaylachavi/index.htm  
  
* * *  
  
This is a story about love. It's about relationships and life. It's about what being in love means. There are some mature themes, however nothing graphic, and no sex. I wrote this to be controversial.   
  
I wish you deep thoughts.  
  
* * *  
  
"Where is Chibi Usagi?" Demando had walked into the apartment to see his girlfriend, Usagi, in the kitchen. In her hand was a very sharp knife that she was using to dangerously cutting up vegetables. On her face were tears and her cheeks were red and blotchy. The white haired man blinked and then went over to her. Gently he placed his hand over hers and made her stop before she hurt herself.  
  
Usagi looked up at him with teary blue eyes. "Hey," she said quietly. "Chibi is in her room."  
  
"Usa, what's wrong?" Demando gently wiped away her tears and then held her face tenderly in his hands. "Did he call again today?"  
  
Demando had met Usagi when she had come to redecorate one of the clubs that he owned. They had become good friends and slowly moved to the point of lovers. He had been with her since before the beginning of it all. He had provided love as a friend, and then love as a lover, for the young mother had needed someone to tell her she was still desirable.  
  
Usagi shook her head and looked down at the floor. "Chibi and I went to church today," she said quietly.  
  
"I thought that she was spending the day with him," Demando said surprised. "I thought you were picking her up after lunch." He personally did like Usagi's faith. He thought that the Priests didn't place enough emphasis on the love of God, instead they preached hellfire and damnation.  
  
"There was a change of plans so I took her to church with me." The young blond woman looked down at the ground and her eyes began to tear up. "Chibi insisted on going to Confession."  
  
"She's only six years old!" Demando sighed heavily and gently ran his hand through her blond hair as he drew her into his arms. Usagi melted into his embrace and buried her face in his neck. Her nose was cold as pressed against the skin of his face, but he didn't react to it. She needed him to be a strength for her, and he knew this. "What happened, Usa?" he murmured into her hair as she began to sob quietly.  
  
"She told the priest about him," she whispered. "She said that she saw them kiss and started to ask questions. She then told about how you live with us and we aren't married. We're doing everything that is preached against."  
  
Demando sighed and gently kissed her temple. "What did the priest say?"  
  
"That he'll go to hell for his sins and that I'll suffer for mine. He said that divorce is evil as well. God, Demando, she hates me."  
  
"Shhh," he murmured into her hair. "You know that's not true. Chibi doesn't understand the situation, that's all." He lightly kissed her forehead and then pulled back to look down into her blue eyes. Lovingly, he kissed her tears away. She returned his kisses almost hungrily, needing the physical confirmation that he was there for her. It was why he lived with her and her daughter, instead of in another apartment. He had moved in not three days after it all. She needed him as a friend to hold her, and then as a man to touch her.  
  
"You need to talk to him about this," he said when she had calmed down. "After dinner you should go to his apartment and talk. I'll talk to Chibi, okay?" Usagi nodded and then hugged him tightly once more. "And I will always love you," he whispered in her ear.  
  
"I know," she whispered back, "It's why I find myself falling deeper and deeper everyday."  
  
* * *  
  
Dinner had been rather silent, for the young strawberry blond girl had refused to even look at her mother during dinner. Usagi had done her best to remain happy and cheerful, but it was taking it's toll on her. By the end of the meal she looked ready to burst into tears again. Demando took her hand gently over the table and squeezed it gently.  
  
"Chibi Usagi, you need to finish your rice," he said firmly. The little girl looked at him with narrowed eyes but didn't say anything. She crossed her arms over her chest and stuck out her bottom lip. Demando raised an eyebrow. "You either finish your rice now or you can not have any rice in the morning."  
  
"You're not my daddy," she said coldly. "You can't tell me what to do."  
  
"Chibi!" Usagi exclaimed. "Apologize!"  
  
She wrinkled her nose. "I don't want to. He's the one who's making you go to hell. You should be with daddy."  
  
Usagi sighed quietly. "Chibi, I told you. Your father and I don't love each other any more. We still love you, but Mamoru and I cannot be together."  
  
"Because he kisses other men."  
  
"Yes, Chibi, because he kisses other men."  
  
Chibi looked down at her plate for a long moment. "Why doesn't daddy love you anymore, mommy?" she asked quietly.  
  
Usagi was quiet for a very long time. "Chibi, your father and I are still very good friends. But I don't know why he doesn't love me. All I know is that he can't be married to me anymore. And I know that Demando loves me and will take just as good care of me as Mamoru does." She looked over at her white-blond lover and smiled. She squeezed his hand, "Possibly even more so."  
  
Chibi looked at the two for a moment and sighed melodramatically. "So are you still going to hell?"  
  
"No," Demando said firmly. "Your mother is a good woman and is not going to hell."  
  
"And my daddy?"  
  
There was no answer for that one, for both adults had their own opinions on that one. Finally Usagi sighed quietly, "Of course not sweetie. Now, finish your rice like a good girl."  
  
* * *  
  
Usagi stood outside her ex-husband's door for a very long time. It took her a lot of courage to raise her hand to knock. Before she was able to complete the gesture, it opened. Standing there in just a pair of sweatpants, was Mamoru. Her heart clenched slightly as she realized that he was still the handsome man she had fallen in love with as a sophomore in high school.  
  
"Usako," he said quietly and opened the door all the way. "Come in, come in."  
  
She bit her lower lip, "Is this a bad time, Mamoru?" she asked a little nervously as she stepped in. "I mean...I can come back later if I'm interrupting anything."  
  
The dark haired man laughed quietly and shook his head. "Motoki left about an hour ago. Somehow I knew you'd be coming over." He quietly closed the door behind her. Usagi did her best to control her expression. Of course he knew she was coming over. He always knew, just as she could always know where he was. It was like there was this invisible string attached to the both of them, that kept pulling them together. Even though they lived on opposite sides of Los Angeles, they still managed to run into each other.  
  
Usagi followed him into the living room. She hadn't been back to this apartment since the discussion of their divorce nearly a year ago. It had hurt a little when he had decided to keep it, but she knew, as he did, that he kept it for the memories. They had shared too much to throw it all away. Mamoru himself was struggling with his decision to leave her, both morally and ethically.  
  
She walked up to the mantle and looked at some of the pictures. She smiled slightly when she noticed one of the snapshots were from high school. "I can't believe you still have these," she said quietly.  
  
Mamoru chuckled and went to stand next to her. "Remember that game?"  
  
"How could I forget?" she lightly touched the frame. "It was our Junior year and you were the starting quarter-back. We got named homecoming king and queen after that game."  
  
"We were both sweaty and gross," he grinned. "I never knew cheerleading was such hard work."  
  
Usagi laughed and pulled her hand away from the picture. "That was one of my happiest memories," she said quietly.  
  
"Mine too," he agreed. His voice was just as quiet and gentle. "Usako, tell me what's wrong."  
  
She gave a quiet sigh and went to sit over on his couch. Thank goodness he had gotten rid of the couch they had shared. It would have hurt too much to see the couch that they had repeatedly made love on. She looked at her hands intently and felt the couch shift when he came to sit next to her. There was a hush in the room that lasted a long while. Mamoru gently reached over and took her hand.  
  
"Usako?"  
  
"Chibi saw you and Motoki kiss," she whispered. "When we went to church today she wanted to go to Confession."  
  
"She's only six years old!" Mamoru exclaimed.  
  
Usagi smiled wryly. "That's what Demando said," she looked at their hands and then looked up at him. "Father Hino told her that you were going to hell. He also said I was because I'm living with Demando."  
  
"I don't disagree with him on that one."  
  
"Mamoru..."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Chibi was very upset," Usagi continued and slowly pulled her hand away. She sank back into the couch. "I'm also upset but for different reasons." She paused, "How could you have let her see you two? It was hard enough explaining to her that you don't love me anymore--"  
  
"Usako, you know that's not why we're getting this divorce," Mamoru interrupted and his dark blue eyes flashed.  
  
"That's right," she said bitterly, "We're getting a divorce because I no longer arouse you and Motoki does." Her own blue eyes flashed a little before she tried to calm down. "You kiss other men, Mamoru. You love Motoki. You don't love me. Not like that. Not anymore."  
  
They sat in a strained silence. The clock ticked in the background and outside, cars could be heard. Mamoru finally ran a hand through his dark hair and looked away.  
  
"Motoki and I will be more careful," he said finally. "I'll make sure that Chibi Usagi doesn't encounter that anymore."  
  
"Thank you," Usagi whispered and then stood. "I need to get back. Demando is putting her to bed and we have plans for when I get home."  
  
Mamoru raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on those plans. He slowly stood as well. "I see. When do you want to meet to finalize everything?"  
  
"My lawyer will be ready with the paperwork in two weeks," Usagi said and felt a little shiver run through her. This divorce still didn't feel right, this whole situation felt wrong. Mamoru was supposed to be with her for eternity. They had dated in high school. They had gone to the same college. They had gotten married and three years later had a beautiful daughter. They were supposed to be together. He was not supposed to be like this.   
  
He nodded and took a deep breath. "So I'll see you then."  
  
"Yeah," she turned to go and he suddenly caught her hand.  
  
"Usako, I still love you."  
  
"Please, Mamoru, don't. This is hard enough as it is." She tried to pull her hand away. "A part of me will always be in love with you. But Demando loves me and he wants me. Which is more than you can do right now. I hope that you and Motoki will be very happy," she whispered. She walked to the door and opened it slowly. "Good-bye, Mamo-chan."  
  
* * *  
  
Usagi closed her apartment door quietly. She had not gone straight home, but had driven around Los Angeles several times. Her eyes had been filled with tears for a lot of it. When she finally felt strong enough to go home, she walked up the seventeen flights of stairs. Her legs were killing her by the time she reached the top, but she felt much better.  
  
Demando was laying on the couch and snoring softly. His reading glasses were slighlty askew and the book he had been reading was in one hand that had dropped near the ground. His white-blond hair hung carelessly in his eyes. The light from the small lamp had created shadows across his face. Usagi smiled as she went to go lay next to him. He had obviously been trying to wait up for her.  
  
She fixed his glasses and kissed the tip of his nose before settling against his side. It wasn't long until he dropped the book on the ground and placed his arms around her waist. He kissed the side of her face and then softly kissed her lips.   
  
"It went well?"  
  
"Yeah. He told me loved me, again."  
  
"He probably does. You're hard not to love, Usa."  
  
"If he loves me, then why doesn't he want me?" she whispered and closed her eyes. Tears once again began to form. She would have started crying again, but Demando gently pulled her so that they were sitting up. He tilted her chin up and made her look at him.  
  
"Usa, I cannot understand why he would leave you. All I know is that he has made his choice. It's time to make yours. You need to move on."  
  
"But its so hard," she whispered.   
  
"I know. But I will always be here for you. I'm not going to leave you, Usa."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"I promise."  
  
He leaned down and kissed her gently. "Now, come to bed. It's late and we both have work tomorrow."  
  
She nodded and then opened her arms out to him. "Carry me?"  
  
He chuckled and complied with her wishes. It wasn't until later, when she thought that he was asleep, that he heard her quiet murmur.  
  
"I love you, Demando." 


End file.
